i want her to call me. i want her to tell me that she misses me. i want us to talk like we used to. i want us to have moments again. i want to take a bath together. i want to shave her legs and let her shave my face. i want everything material in my life to be disposable. a disposable car. a disposable apartment. i want to be able to live without tv. without newspapers. without internet. without the latest computer. i want to camp out a lot. i want to roadtrip a lot. i want to listen to records. i want to play the piano. i want to take pictures. i want to change. i want to run. i want to eat meat.i want to be self sustained. i want to truly learn my lesson. i want to want to wake up in the mornings. fuck. i want her back. i want to not want her back. i read once that it's not fair how you can purposely remember, but you can't purposely forget. i agree. i don't want to stop writing. i wish someone cared enough. "you hold on to something tightest with an open hand." "you hold on to something tightest with an opend hand." "you hold on to something tightest with an open hand."