rowan & ro

when they met on the first day of the fifth grade, their connection was almost automatic. it was lunch time, and all the other kids had gone outside to play their usual games; you know: jump rope, hide and seek, tag, the usual.
but not these two.
rowan, a red-haired boy with sharp features and mind, always thought that if he was to come back to the place he is already in, there was no reason to leave at all. this was something that his mother fought against his whole life. it would be, indeed, a lie to say that it was an easy task to send him to school.
while noticing the set up of the room, rowan decided to approach the only other boy who stayed behind during lunch time, seemingly enjoying the word puzzles the teacher had previously assigned him a great deal more than hopscotch.
standing behind him, rowan was amazed to see that, although only a few minutes had passed, ro [he had heard the other kids call him that] had already deciphered three pages worth of puzzles.
ro seemed troubled. on the forth page of the assignment there was a word he simply could not put together.
"it's a jumble." said ro, suddenly taking a pause from his trance and frustration, "but i can't seem to figure this one out! what word could the letters c, s, a, and c possibly form?"
"i have no idea," responded rowan, "not at all."
"I am the best at puzzles and out of all that the teacher has given me, this word-- this one word has brought me to complete frustration."
"it seems to me that the machine with which this page was printed was faulty."
"hm?"
"there are smudges everywhere... specially on that one c, it also seems distorted somehow."
"why you are absolutely correct! I would have never noticed that myself! what an eye you have...ummm...?"
"oh, of course--rowan, rowan cace"
"precisely!"
"what?"
"once you pointed out that there was something peculiar about the afore mentioned c, it became increasingly obvious that it's shape more closely resembled that of an e, thus changing the pieces of this puzzle. having the correct pieces: c, s, a and e the solution seems too simple: the word 'case'"
"wow, you're quick, antaro..."
"star. antaro star, but how did you know my real name? everyone calls me ro"
"It's written in all your puzzles."
after which, rowan and ro shared a hearty laugh that inevitably rendered them inseparable.

I once said something about love that read a lot like this:
"today, i decided that love is supposed to be crazy, fun, childish and slightly retarded."
actually it read exactly like that.
it is so strange when people try to rationalize love. try to make sense of it.
why try to rationalize something that gives you feelings and emotions and makes you experience things like you never experienced them before.
don't think "oh i shouldn't do this for love because it doesn't make sense in the long run, who knows what might happen. i can't risk my life on love and then end up with nothing"
don't.
just do it.
loves not a poker game. it's not chance. it's fate.
if you don't completely give yourself to the person you love, how can you expect them to?
if you don't sacrifice EVERYTHING, why would they?
and this is where fear plays its devilish part. being ready for things to go wrong makes you give less of yourself, practically ensuring that things will go wrong. so what if they do? at least you experienced the most important thing in our lives.
love.
unconditional, crazy, fun, childish, irrational, nonsensical love. the kind that captures your very soul and stops its heartbeat. making you feel like you used to be whole, but were torn apart by the world and are now complete again.
complete enough to do anything you have to, to stay that way.
don't close your eyes.
don't pray.
it won't work itself out.
you have to work it out.
you have to make the effort.
go all in, because if you lose, you get many a chance, but if you win, oh if you win.